Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
