i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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