you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If I die, sorry about rent.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
