So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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