shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
