I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
