11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
