i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
