you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
