So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
