i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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