Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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