We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
