she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
