he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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