I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
