Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
How does one acquire holy water?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
