just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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