what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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