I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
