Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
