If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
