MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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