So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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