I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
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I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I love you.
Bad choice
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