i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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