Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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