ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
