I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
