That's intense
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
