You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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