dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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