He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
