He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
