i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize