a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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