I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
