I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
