I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
