Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
