Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
