When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
