SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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