I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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