Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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