Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
