as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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