Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
