you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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