ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
