so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
