umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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