Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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