you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
