did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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