Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
