So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize