i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
