I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
