I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
